I`am so numb..

Pain of the past I`am still trying to over come,
When I reminiscence I start to go numb..
Feel so stupid, feel so dumb, falling apart crumb by crumb..
Some of the stories of my miseries so great..
It's all in the story of my life..
Some care, some don't when I`am in a slum..
I`am liable to go idle !!
Do I bang a drum, or keep my silent by..
When my thoughts and desire go suicidal ??
For a long distance of time..
I have not known the answers to my prayers!!
Who can tame the ravished torn soul who going insane??
Away the sorrow went and came back just like that..
No light in this tunnel of darkness..
No light,
No air,
No water,
No life,
And above all no heart..

I owe it all to them. they took my life!!
I see NOTHING NOW!! LIFE is SO DIM!!

Berharap..

Masih terbuka mata ini 'tuk tak ingin bermimpi akan buruknya peristiwa yang ku alami..
Tak ingin ku semuanya terjadi, tak rela ku engkau tuk pergi dari sisi hati ku yang goyah tanpa penopang ini..
Arti hadir mu tak hanya jadi bagian dari separuh jiwa ku, tapi juga seluruh hidup ku..
Rela diriku 'tuk menyerahkan semua yang ku punya hanya untuk mu..
Betapa ku merindukan kata "yank" akan keluar dari setiap ucapan mu yang tertera padaku.. Kembalilah cahaya ku, penopang jalan ku, tongkat yang membuatku terus dapat berdiri..

Semua kan kulakukan 'tuk buat mu kembali..

My Life Story

My love did not die, just went to sleep..
My pain was not gone, just hide in deep..
Now awake the misery in me, along with
The agony it all shows in me..

Hiding away what was not seen..
Gliding today on air with not a care in sight..
The night so welcome but the light is not..
so I close my eyes and say goodbye..

I never deserved what life had served..
I could never believe that it was the eve of my destruction..
I prayed for instruction on how to live my life,
staryed away every single day with every single sin in my life.

I starved as I carved the pain within..
I longed to be strong but weak I was as I seeked..
became numb when I found where the strength came from,
a source I remorce if it ever left..

Rage unleashed, no longer in its cage.
page 1 to page end every chapter a lost friend.
legalize suicide dear God please decide.
upon me the story of a lost soul without any control.
inside and out ugly like a troll.

If you would only look, rather than be so shook.
go ahead my life is one great book.
story 1 to story end I send you my story.
not looking for glory am I. just to have my story heard.
word for word not, just a glimpse maybe.
but why would anyone want to hear my story?

Can I stand.. ??

one night i stand, i remind of you
our hope and dream
tears in my eyes
when you gone so fast
when i realized you know i can be perfect

i fall from you
you make me like i can't stand with you
you make me like i can't live with you
i cant hold your hand
so please don't let me down

i try to be a stronger
when i know everything over
every time i feel
every day i think
i never see you once again

i know i cant be stronger
even i try to forget you
oh no i missing you
i need its you

so please don't make me feel like..

i keep you in my heart


i miss your smile, i miss your face
i need you to hear by, i need your hugs

in every night, in everyday
like you want me to be

i miss you voice, i miss your laugh
i need your hear, i need your hug
in every night, in every day

it's you


want you to know, everything is you

U're my reason..

There's your name always ringing in my head.. Just can't stop it even I fall sleep.. am I really love you.. ? what can I do if you do not.. I am nothing without you by my side now.. I am alone in the crowded.. Nothing I can do.. Can't hold my self just for standing up my self.. That's because you are my reason to walk in by.. My precious reason to life on..